'Jonah Hex' Movie Review

Movies based on comic books are such a dime a dozen these days that we're down to second- and third-tier heroes like Jonah Hex whom the general public probably doesn't even realize originated in comics. Unfortunately, this underwhelming film adaptation won't do much to enhance the book's reputation.

Jonah Hex (Josh Brolin) is an ex-Confederate soldier-turned-bounty hunter whose horribly scarred face and supernatural abilities have become legendary in the post-Civil War United States. His wife and son were murdered by Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich) in retaliation for Jonah killing Turnbull's son -- a justifiable homicide by Wild West standards, as Jonah was stopping the Turnbulls from burning down an occupied hospital. The elder Turnbull made him watch his family's death and then left him for dead, at which point Jonah briefly "crossed over" to the other side, acquiring the ability to speak to the dead.

Now healed (at least, physically), Jonah is a bitter alcoholic using bounty hunting to vent his aggressions. When President Ulysses S. Grant (Aidan Quinn) recruits him to stop Turnbull's terrorist activities, Jonah can't pass up the opportunity for revenge. He finds out that Turnbull plans something big for the nation's centennial on July 4, 1876, and only Jonah can stop him -- because apparently the entire US military was a bumbling mess of buffoonery. Along the way, Jonah stops to renew pleasantries with Talulah Black (Megan Fox), a feisty prostitute who's the closest thing to a friend that he has, and Smith (Lance Reddick), a weapons supplier who provides him with not-quite-historically accurate gadgetry.

With a running time of barely 80 minutes -- including credits -- Jonah Hex feels like a movie that's been gutted by the studio, leaving a hollow husk devoid of emotion, depth or common sense. Granted, without the (presumed) whitewashing, the movie had the potential to be much worse, with a seemingly bored Broliln does a Sling Blade impression for the entire film and a miscast Fox being filmed with such a distractingly soft focus that her closeups seem to be spliced in from another movie altogether.

As it stands, there simply isn't enough material to call Jonah Hex terrible, but it's certainly not good either. It strives to be a sequel-worthy slam-bang summer blockbuster -- tossing in the requisite explosions, sanitized PG-13 deaths and trailer-padding fight scenes that add little to the plot -- but it never manages to become what all summer blockbusters should be: fun. Apart from a few dry one-liners from our antihero, it's grim, humorless and lacking in imagination, wasting elements (the afterlife, Smith acting as a 19th century "Q" to Jonah's 007, the oddball weaponry) that could have made for a pleasantly brainless popcorn movie.

Instead, it's just brainless, which shouldn't be surprising given it's written by the duo that gave us the dunderheaded Crank movies. The plot is about as basic as can be culled from the rich subject material, and the characters show no depth beyond a single-minded thirst for revenge.

The flatness of John Malkovich's character is particularly frustrating; he's evil for no particular reason. Although he has a vendetta against Jonah for killing his son, Turnbull was already cartoonishly evil, targeting innocent citizens for death in his anarchistic desire to literally destroy the nation. Why? Just because.

Poor John Malkovich is only one of a number of respected actors who are wasted on this material: Aidan Quinn, Lance Reddick, Will Arnett and Wes Bentley all just go through the motions in their five minutes-or-less of screen time. Only Michael Fassbender (Blood Creek, Eden Lake) seems to take joy in his role, channeling his inner Clockwork Orange.

For an action film (with mild horror overtones), Jonah Hex's action sequences are surprisingly pedestrian, full of generic shootouts, fist fights and heroes out-jumping explosions. Director Jimmy Hayward (Horton Hears a Who!), who has thus far spent his career in animation, makes his live-action debut with little pizazz, his quick cuts and dark lighting at times obscuring what's on screen -- not that it's that exciting anyway.

• Acting: D+ (Megan Fox is unnatural; Josh Brolin should consider starring in Sling Blade 2.)
• Direction: C- (Generates few thrills.)
• Script: D- (Straightforward, unimaginative, shallow.)
• Gore/Effects: C (Decent makeup effects, mediocre CGI and restrained PG-13 gore.)
• Overall: D+ (Surprisingly by-the-numbers, given its fantastic concept. Its brevity saves it from becoming a complete chore to watch.)

Jonah Hex is directed by Jimmy Hayward and is rated PG-13 by the MPAA for intense sequences of violence and action, disturbing images and sexual content. Release date: June 18, 2010.