'Season of the Witch' Movie Review

At some point (Con Air?), Nicolas Cage went from a critically praised, award-winning actor to caricature-ish leading man in campy, oft-derided fare like The Wicker Man, Ghost Rider and, sadly, his most recent effort, Season of the Witch.

In the year 1344, a pair of disillusioned Crusaders named Behmen and Felson (Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman) desert their unit after being asked to massacre women and children. Trekking back towards their homeland, they're arrested for desertion and are forced by a local cardinal (Christopher Lee) to accept a task in order to be pardoned: they must escort an accused witch to a distant monastery where monks who hold a legendary book will determine her fate.

The young woman supposedly confessed to being a witch and inflicting a plague on the kingdom, but having been privy to the church's coercive ways, the two knights aren't so sure. But as the trip drags on and the men start dying in mysterious ways, Behmen and Felson begin to wonder if their prisoner is in fact attracting malevolent forces.

Season of the Witch feels like a halfhearted attempt in every respect, from acting to direction to writing. It tries to be part Braveheart-ish war epic, part Hammer (or Roger Corman) fright flick and part buddy adventure, but none of the elements work. Cage phones in his role, not even imbuing it with the sort of manic energy that leant a camp appeal to The Wicker Man. Perlman adds a welcome sense of humor, but his modern speech and style seem out of place in the period film.

The story has potential to become a fun popcorn movie, something like a less comedic Army of Darkness, but it's weighed down by tedious conversations, by-the-numbers action sequences and sterile attempts to scare. Infused with mediocre CGI, it feels like a budget Van Helsing: an overly safe and un-frightening attempt at PG-13, family-friendly horror.

Director Dominic Sena is best known for action fare like Swordfish and Gone in 60 Seconds, so it's surprising that the action sequences in Season of the Witch fall so flat -- even more so than his previous horror dud, Whiteout. Even on the concept level, they're tame and full of medieval cinematic clichés: roaming packs of wolves, crossing rickety rope bridges, standard green screen military battles. There's only one sequence that evokes a pulpy sense of wonder -- a zombie monk attack -- but it comes way too late to save the film, and it still lacks any real punch. Sena seems to be confused about what genre of movie he's making -- even I'm not sure -- but he would've been better served to go for all-out horror rather than settle into a watered-down no man's land.

• Acting: C- (Nicolas Cage just can't be serious any more.)
• Direction: D+ (Lacks scares, excitement, suspense or drama.)
• Script: D+ (Fun concept that's padded with tedious clichés.)
• Gore/Effects: C- (Mediocre CGI and green screen effects.)
• Overall: D+ (A bland, by-the-numbers blend of genres.)

Season of the Witch is directed by Dominic Sena and is rated PG-13 by the MPAA for thematic elements, violence and disturbing content. Release date: January 7, 2011.