At long last, Cloverfield arrives to give New York City a whuppin'! Elsewhere Teeth aims to bite you where it counts, and on DVD, a bunch of straight-to-video oddities from Asia, Italy and Spain land in the good ol' USA.
The major theatrical release of the week is, at long last, Cloverfield. Thanks to ingenious marketing, mystery surrounds this giant-monster-attacks-New York film, shot on digital video from the point of view of the survivors. Won't we all be surprised when it turns out to be Dragon Wars 2?
Opening in limited release this week is Teeth, an old-fashioned story about a boy, a girl and a girl's man-eating vagina. That's right; a young lady discovers that her vagina sprouts teeth when she feels threatened -- sort of like The Incredible Hulk meets Little Shop of Horrors.
From Mary Lambert, who directed Pet Sematary (and to a lesser extent, Pet Sematary Two), comes this ghost story of a teenaged girl who encounters a doppelganger in her new home. Who you gonna call?
A blind millionaire gets bumped off in this Spanish murder mystery from 1973. Whodunit?
Prolific Italian horror director Lamberto Bava (Demons) tells the tale of a woman in South Africa who believes that her son was conceived by her late husband from beyond the grave. Just don't call her a spirit skank.
Land of Death
Italian schlock-meister Bruno Mattei apparently didn't get the message that cannibal movies burned out in the early '80s. This 2003 entry finds soldiers sent deep into the Amazon to retrieve a bigwig's daughter who's been captured by cannibals.
In this Chinese period piece, the ghost of a dead woman possesses her ex-boyfriend's new wife. Not exactly the ménage à trois he'd hoped for.
Monstroid: It Came From the Lake
One of those cautionary pollution tales from the '70s, Monstroid finds a Loch Ness Monster-styled creature being risen by industrial pollution. And it's not as friendly as Woodsy the Owl.
Not to be confused with the Wes Craven thriller from 2005, this is a South Korean horror story about a stewardess who works the night shift on a haunted train.