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The Best Worst Horror Movies: Movies So Bad, They're Good

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It's easy to make a bad movie, but it takes a fascinating blend of talentless-ness, dearth of judgment, ignorance of the technical and creative aspects of filmmaking, all-around bad taste and an inability to recognize any of these shortcomings to make a movie so bad that it comes full circle and actually becomes enjoyable. Consider this the Horror Movie Hall of Shame.

Biohazard: The Alien Force (1995)

Biohazard: The Alien Force
© Vidmark

What is it? A Z-grade sequel to the 1985 B-movie Biohazard about an evil corporation that creates an indestructble creature that of course escapes and goes around killing people, yadda yadda yadda.

What's so awesomely bad about it?

  • It's not an alien; it's a mutant.
  • The creature is one drop kick away from a Power Rangers character.
  • Tossing floppy discs into someone's face is as effective as hitting them with a brick.
  • A 10 mile-per-hour car collision causes the vehicles to become engulfed in flames.
  • Our hero's foreplay speech: "I like football, and I'm gonna sack this quarterback right now."

High/Lowlight: A woman inexplicably sculpts pottery while having sex.

Sample Dialogue: "Are you crazy? Don't die there!"

Trailer

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Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)

'Birdemic' movie poster.
© Severin

What is it? A self-proclaimed "romantic thriller" homage to Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds.

What's so awesomely bad about it?

  • Fascinating scenes of our hero driving to work and negotiating the price of a solar panel for his roof.
  • Birds that make airplane dive-bombing sounds and then explode on contact.
  • A scene that features 75 seconds of applause (with looped audio).
  • Eagles that can hover without moving their wings.
  • Entire scenes with no dialogue or meaningful action.
  • A star who acts like he has emotional paralysis.

High/Lowlight: Fighting off birds with coat hangers.

Sample Dialogue: "Hey, there's dead people on the side of the road. Let's go see if there's any survivors."

Trailer

Black Devil Doll from Hell (1984)

Black Devil Doll from Hell
© Massacre Video

What is it? No-budget African-American fare about a virginal, church-going woman who buys a cursed ventriloquist's dummy that wants to have sex with her.

What's so awesomely bad about it?

  • Did I mention that the doll wants to have sex with her?
  • Did I mention that the doll does have sex with her? And she likes it?
  • Shot on an early '80s camcorder.
  • A Super Mario Bros.-esque Casio keyboard score.
  • 7-minute opening credit sequence.
  • A child was used as a body double in a movie about doll rape.

High/Lowlight: Close-ups of the puppet's fully functional tongue, covered in what looks like vanilla soft-serve ice cream.

Sample Dialogue: "Now that you have smelled the foulness of my breath, you may now taste the sweetness of my tongue!"

Clip

Creatures from the Abyss (AKA Plankton) (1994)

Creatures from the Abyss (Plankton)
© Shriek Show

What is it? Italian fright film that's basically Piranha on a ship with amphibious fish that can breathe air and fly.

What's so awesomely bad about it?

  • Ridiculous dubbed voices.
  • Moronic characters who utter lines like "This must be a refrigerator" and who think it's a good idea to taste a mysterious white powder they find in a lab.
  • The ship's self-destruct alarm actually says "Is anyone listening? I still hear footsteps. Evacuate! Evacuate! Stop screwing around!"
  • Claymation!

High/Lowlight: A woman gives birth to thousands of fish eggs (granted, she did have sex with a mutant fish).

Sample Dialogue: "Professor, how long have you been f***ing fish?" (The reply: "They were old enough!")

Trailer

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Die Hard Dracula (1998)

Die Hard Dracula
© Miracle Pictures

What is it? Unfortunately, it's not Die Hard with vampires. Rather, an American travels to the Czech Republic and ends up defending villagers against Dracula.

What's so awesomely bad about it?

  • The Czech locals all have American accents.
  • No one suspects that the man walking around with blood-red lips and an ashen face is a vampire.
  • Our heroes storm Dracula's castle FOUR TIMES and every time end up running away.
  • A sensuous love scene suddenly cuts to sounds of bed springs rocking to Tchaikovsky's "Nutcracker: Trepak (Russian Dance)".
  • Dracula visits a dentist.

    High/Lowlight: Dracula flies through the air while still in his coffin, to the tune "Ride of the Valkyries".

    Sample Dialogue: "I'm an American, and we're tough!"

    Clip

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    Don't Be Scared (2006)

    Don't Be Scared
    © Urban Works

    What is it? Rapper Master P's attempt at a horror movie, featuring his son Romeo, about a murder victim who returns for revenge.

    What's so awesomely bad about it?

    • 40-year-old Master P plays a college student.
    • Extras look straight into the camera on more than one occasion.
    • Entire scenes of dialogue are drowned out by generic hip-hop music.
    • It's 44 minutes long. Including credits.
    • There's seven minutes of footage of Master P walking through some cheesy amusement park haunted house attraction.
    • One victim dies from being locked in the shower.

    High/Lowlight: A séance conjures Michael Jackson...three years before he died. (Cue the pedophile jokes.)

    Sample Dialogue: "He looks like he's straight from the hood or something."

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    Frankenstein Meets the Spacemonster (1965)

    Frankenstein Meets the Spacemonster
    © Dark Sky

    What is it? Cold War-era fare about an American android astronaut ("Frank") battling Martians looking to breed with Earth women.

    What's so awesomely bad about it?

    • Spacemonster is one word.
    • The dandy Martian villain looks like a rejected Mike Myers caricature.
    • The "spacemonster" is basically a guy in a gorilla suit with rubber monster mask.
    • The Martians have a machine that appears to tell if women are virgins or not.
    • Scenes switch randomly between day and night.
    • Stock footage!

    High/Lowlight: In the midst of searching for Frank and stopping a Martian invasion, our heroes go sightseeing on a Vespa.

    Sample Dialogue: "This is a clear case of failure."

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    Hellbound (1994)

    Hellbound
    © Canon Films

    What is it? Walker, Texas Ranger-era Chuck Norris plays a cop battling an ancient demon with only his fists, his feet and his beard.

    What's so awesomely bad about it?

    • Norris' character is named...FRANK SHATTER.
    • Shatter appears to shop for clothes at Don Johnson's yard sales.
    • Hollywood-standard police chief yelling about Shatter being a loose canon.
    • Hollywood-standard black sidekick comic relief.
    • The demonic bad guy has Kermit the Frog eyes.

    High/Lowlight: Shatter fires his gun wrecklessly in the air, then fights a criminal who's already in custody...because he can.

    Sample Dialogue: "Eat this!"

    Trailer

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    Howling II: Your Sister Is a Werewolf (1985)

    Howling II: Your Sister Is a Werewolf
    © MGM

    What is it? Abysmal sequel to the beloved werewolf film The Howling in which a werewolf hunter (a very embarassed Christopher Lee) travels to Europe to track down the werewolf queen.

    What's so awesomely bad about it?

    • Apparently, if you remove a silver bullet from a werewolf during an autopsy, the werewolf comes back to life.
    • Christopher Lee "blends in" at a punk night club by wearing sunglasses and jeans.
    • The werewolves do little more than have hirsute threeways. 
    • Mace-wielding dwarves!
    • The werewolf queen shoots lightning from her fingers.
    • Werewolf makeup = shag carpets and plastic fangs.

      High/Lowlight: Hero Ben tosses a dwarf out of a window.

      Sample Dialogue: "He plans to destroy me, but I will destroy him!"

      Trailer

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      Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)

      Manos: The Hands of Fate
      © Alpha Video

      What is it? A cheapo feature about a vacationing family that encounters a violent and annoying cult.

      What's so awesomely bad about it?

      • Endless scenes of driving past scenery...just scenery. 
      • Twitchy, limping caretaker Torgo talks like Twiki from Buck Rogers trapped in one of those old-timey vibrating belt exercise machines.
      • Scenes dissolve into...the same scene.
      • Torgo is kneaded to death.
      • The clapperboard is visible in one scene.

      High/Lowlight: Not one, but TWO all-female nightgown-clad, hair-pulling, rolling-in-dirt rumbles.

      Sample Dialogue: "There is no way out of here. It willl be dark soon. There is no way out of here."

      Clip

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