The Bottom Line
Pros
- This is the end of the series (I hope).
Cons
- Awful script
- Annoying characters
- Cheap special effects
- Uneven acting
- Lame sense of humor
Description
- Starring Carl Anthony Payne, Clu Gulager, Diane Goldner, Hanna Putnam, Tom Gulager, William Prael, Josh Blue
- Directed by John Gulager
- Rated NR
- DVD Release Date: February 17, 2009
Guide Review - 'Feast III: The Happy Finish' DVD Review
Feast III picks up where Feast II left off: with a band of survivors of an alien siege barricaded on a rooftop, trying to catapult a dwarf to safety. Greg has just tossed a baby to its death to save himself, and a couple of biker gals are topless for some reason I don't recall. In other words, they're stuck in a really, really bad movie.
Having enjoyed the first film in the series, I held out hope that the third might put the Feast franchise back on track, but when one of the monsters ate and then defecated a guy's head, I knew I was in for a long 80 minutes.
Feast III is low-brow fare -- rife with Troma-like farts, anatomically correct monsters, bestiality and what can only be described as vaginal gutting -- but that alone doesn't make it a terrible movie. It's also poorly written and acted with detestable characters and cheap special effects (green screen and rubber suited Power Rangers aliens).
The plot adds little to what we saw in part two: everyone is either an idiot, a jerk or dead. A few new characters show up -- a take-charge military type, a martial arts guy and a "prophet" who can seemingly control the beasts -- but in this nihilistic series, they don't amount to much. By the end, the film kills off not only the most likeable characters, but also the best actors, leaving the nepotistic director's family.
Feast III is a tedious chore to watch, with no character depth and dialogue consisting entirely of petty bickering and unintelligible war cries like "Suck it up and fight!" This is the type of sequel that tarnishes the original movie. It's hard to believe that the writers of the original Feast (who've moved on to the Saw films) wrote this. They must've scrawled it down in a couple of hours on a spare napkin -- or more appropriately, toilet paper.
The DVD
Special features include commentary and a featurette.
Movie: F
DVD: C+
