'Children of the Corn' DVD Review

Relatively faithful but poorly executed.

In 1963, a child preacher named Isaac convinces the children of the town of Gatlin, Nebraska that all adults are sinners and should be killed as a sacrifice to their god, "he who walks behind the rows." Twelve years later, unhappy couple Burt and Vicky -- he a Viet Nam vet, she a pacifist -- are driving by the town when they run over a boy who, they discover, had his throat slit.

Searching for authorities, they enter Gatlin and run into a mob of kids who see them as fresh meat. A switchblade-wielding Isaac, who somehow hasn't aged in 12 years, orders them to kill, but Burt's military training proves difficult for to overcome for people who haven't yet hit puberty. Whoever wins in this battle of wills, the viewers lose.

This SyFy adaptation of the Stephen King story is more faithful to the original tale than the 1984 big screen adaptation, which tied a cheery bow onto the plot, but that doesn't make it any better. In fact, the constantly bickering adult characters are so irritating that you root for them to die. Vicky is a constant nag, henpecking everything Burt does, while Burt in an uncaring nutjob who only uses his fighting skills to save himself, repeatedly leaving Vicky to fend for herself. And we're supposed to root for them to reconcile? We can't even buy that they got together in the first place. Between them and Isaac's incessant sermonizing, the dialogue isn't spoken; it's shouted -- so much so that you wonder if the entire script was written IN CAPITALS.

As annoying as it is, the film almost ventures into "so bad it's good territory" when Burt threatens to turn it into Rambo vs. Children of the Corn, dropping kids left and right and uttering lines like, "Put that in your god and smoke it!" But sadly, it never sustains that level of campy fun.

The DVD

Special features include several behind-the-scenes featurettes.

Movie: D+
DVD: C