The Bottom Line
Pros
- Doesn't take itself too seriously
- Jennifer Tilly
Cons
- Minimal gore
- Amateurish acting
- Low budget
- Predictable plot
Description
- Starring Jennifer Tilly, Judd Nelson, Kira Verrastro, Jennifer Freeman, James Immekus, Andrew St. John, Diego J. Torres
- Directed by Bryce Olson
- Rated R
- DVD Release Date: February 23, 2010
Guide Review - 'The Caretaker' DVD Review
Once in the house, the guys gather the girls around to tell them the tale of the man who lived there years ago. His name was Adam, and he was the caretaker of the orchard, a jealous man with a violent temper who kept his wife captive and killed her family before eventually killing her when she tried to escape.
Although Adam hasn't been seen for years, wouldn't you know it -- he decides to show up on that very night. Wielding a jimmy rigged fruit picker (basically, a claw on a stick), the scarecrow-looking killer knocks off the kids one by one; you know the deal.
The Caretaker is a typical low-budget, direct-to-video slasher whose only distinction is small roles by veteran stars Jennifer Tilly (as a horny teacher) and Judd Nelson (as Ella's dad) -- the former on screen for about 15 minutes and the later for less than five.
As such, we're stuck for the majority of the movie watching an amateurish young cast spouting canned dialogue in a predictable plot that rehashes every bad slasher cliche. Have sex in a creepy old building? Sure! Walk off alone when you know a killer is stalking your group? Why not?
Unfortunately, the only cliche not exploited is the gratuitous gore and over-the-top kills -- you know, the things that make a slasher a slasher. If I didn't know better, I'd say The Caretaker was aiming for a PG-13 rating, since the camera cuts away during every single kill, and the bodies shown have just polite scratches on their faces -- hardly lethal wounds, and nothing as painful as sitting through this movie.
The DVD
No special features.
Movie: D
DVD: F
