New Horror Releases in Theaters and on DVD: Week of March 2, 2008

A throwback affair inspired by Ray Harryhausen’s legendary animation in Jason and the Argonauts -- with, no doubt, a touch of Army of Darkness -- this ambitious production finds archeological students battling the undead skeletal army of Coronado's conquistadors.

A small town is taken over by flesh-eating zombies. That's pretty much it. As unoriginal as the concept sounds, though, this film has a better reputation than most of its ilk. Did I just use the word "ilk"?

Has there been a more acting-challenged duo in a major theatrical release in recent memory than Jessica Alba and Hayden Christensen? OK, maybe Sossamon and Burns in One Missed Call. Christensen experiences "anesthetic awareness," in which he's aware of what's going on during his surgery but is too paralyzed to scream for help. So, he just lies there stiff and emotionless? Right up his alley!

A group of campers is stalked by a family of homicidal maniacs who like to film their victims' last moments. Do they at least get residuals?

Sporting one of the cooler titles of the '80s, C.H.U.D. (which stands for "cannibalistic humanoid underground dweller") tells the tale of people mutating into, well, C.H.U.D.s after coming into contact with toxic waste. Sort of a rich man's Toxic Avenger.

For one of horror master Mario Bava's last films, he turned to a more modern, exploitation-styled concept: a trio of sadistic robbers take three hostages -- a young woman, a middle-aged man and his young son -- in their attempt to avoid the cops and get out of town. The bandits heap verbal and physical abuse on the hostages, but since everyone's cramped into a tiny European car for most of the film, there's not enough room to be truly horrific.

Unlike the rest of Anchor Bay's new Cult Fiction line, the German zombie comedy Night of the Living Dorks -- basically, undead American Pie -- isn't from the '70s or '80s. In fact, it's only four years old. Plus, it's being remade for release in America in 2010. Is it really that good? Short answer: no. Long answer: nooooooo.

Although it's an Australian production, this enjoyable cult film features American stars Jamie Lee Curtis and Stacy Keach. Keach is a truck driver trying to take down a serial killer who targets hitchhikers, while Curtis is a hitcher trying not to get killed. Rutger Hauer has an alibi.

The cult film that begat a sequel whose supreme awfulness has made it perhaps even "cultier" gets re-released. Re-discover Edward "The Equalizer" Woodward's battle against Christopher "Dracula" Lee to find a missing girl amidst a pagan colony.

Hapless car rental clerks must battle a zombie invasion in this low-budget undead-fest that claims to feature the largest zombie scene ever filmed.